: Hi Ken
: You have been on my mind so much lately. I am not sure why. It's a good thing though. I frequently look back at the things I have that you have written to me or to others. I get so much inspiration from you and your "adventures" and experiences.
: During the past 8 months or so I have become quite active in The Compassionate Friends. I have found that it helps dealing with my grief a bit easier when I help others with theirs.
: We recently participated in the Worldwide Candle Lighting that is held each year on the 2nd Sunday in December. I took a copy of your "Little Souls" story and the explanation of why children die so young to share with some of my friends who have lost infants. I thought it may be helpful for them to understand a little. However, as I read it over myself I realized it helped me, again, as well.
: My heart aches to the point where no words can describe my pain as I realize over and over again that Quentin's death is real. It's been 2 years and I still have these shocking moments of realization. The thing is so amazing is that I see positive aspects of his death on a daily basis, as well. I can't believe my child is continuously touching the lives of others even still. It seems I am constantly running into people who have lost a child and have no one to turn to for help. The timing is uncanny. Is this what is meant about recognizing my purpose? Do you know if this is my purpose on Earth or part of it? I continue to believe that giving birth to these 6 fabulous children are the only important thing I have ever done. However, I am starting to believe that helping others through their grief as I work through my own may be connected somehow.

: You are an amazing man, Ken. Big hugs and God's blessings to you
: Love, Barb

I haven't talked to you in awhile and was so glad to read your posts. Thank you so much for your sweet response about the poem my husband heard while sleeping.

You have been a busy lady! I am so happy for you that you are finding joy in reaching out to others. I can tell it's fulfilling for you. What a blessing. And yes, Ken is a huge blessing to all of us who are able to read what he has to say online, and the people whom he's helped in person. I've been doing some substitute teaching, mulling over whether I want to get a counselling degree or a teaching cert., b/c I love working with children so much.

I remember your precious Quentin - he's touched *my* life also. He is such a special soul, and has such a loving mama. I understand, too, what you mean about finding positive aspects of his passing. It hurts so much, but I have made so much progress toward accepting Ward's passing, young as it was, and making sure that positive changes come of his life and his passing.

We don't have a little baby yet, although we sure hope to have another pregnancy soon. We miscarried once in January and once in August -the second one was at over 19 weeks - the dr. figures a cord accident. I just pray that I'll be able to have another baby (or two or three), and that if I can't carry the baby to term, to please just not let me get pregnant. It's another one of those things I'm learning to submit to - whatever happens is part of God's plan for me - and try not to fret about.

I was glad that the compassionate friends site got the chat room open again. Maybe I'll see you there sometime. :)